U-Gan-Da-rned Mosquitos

As I've written before, we were cautioned about two things when we moved here. The first danger was traffic, the much-justified target of last month's (and I'm sure future) rants. The second danger we were warned of was malaria, but I'm really not too concerned about any of us getting sick. We are all taking Malarone and malaria cases aren't that prevalent within the city. Typhoid is a far more real fear at the moment.  I also don't see us taking the girls too many places where they have a good chance of catching malaria. It is the vessel that carries malaria that has gotten under my saddle.

The mosquito - what I am now labeling the Scourge of Uganda - has reared it's very ugly head during our current dry season (I'm swatting them even as I sit typing this). According to my informal and, of course, highly scientific survey of friends and colleagues, we seem to have it the worst in our neighborhood, located adjacent to Kampala's Nakivubo Swamp. As such, I've had to add a new step to the girls' bedtime ritual - the hunt. I begin by whistling the tune from "The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly" and while Laura bathes the girls, I search every nook and cranny of our bedrooms and bathrooms for the offending varmints. Once located, I annihilate them with an electrified device resembling a small tennis racquet:

I never really cared for tennis, but I've developed a mean backhand with this

I'll kill as many as 20 during this period, knowing more lurk elsewhere. While apparently only a small percentage of the 4000 species are the ones that drink blood, it seems that the entire population of that small percentage is living within a few feet of our front and back doors. Notwithstanding my best efforts, I can't figure out how they are getting into our house and through our mosquito nets, but they are. We frequently wake up in the morning with bites, and Stella seems considered by them to be especially delectable.

Given its pure annoyance, I have great difficulty understanding the validity of the existence of the mosquito and anyone who takes any action that directly or indirectly preserves the mosquito should be committed.  No offense, Rachel Carson (who also argued for limited pesticide use when faced with the tremendous human toll of malaria). Some scientists believe that mosquitoes play an important part of the ecosystem, for example providing sustenance for Larry, George, and Henry - my geckos. But in talking with them, I think that they would just find another food. In fact, I've found that the rest of science agrees with us. A 2010 article in Nature, written by the brilliant researcher Janet Fang, confirms our hypothesis that the world would be no worse off without these flying bloodsuckers. Those organisms (such as my gecko friends) that consume mosquitoes would easily replace them in their diet. It's kind of like when I moved to Uganda and couldn't get Tasty Tacos anymore. I survived - it was difficult for a time, but I have persevered and found new life in vegetable samosas.

Throughout history, man has feared vampires and vampire bats, but no one has mounted a serious attack on the one organism that actually flies around with the expressed purpose of sucking our blood. If only tools like wooden stakes, holy water, or silver bullets and axes would suffice. As an aside, despite what Laura tells you, Abraham Lincoln:Vampire Hunter is not a historical documentary.

Because the mosquitoes are so bad right now, it has completely distracted me from the problems of traffic that returned with the new school semester. But I'll spare everyone from my rants for now and move on to the family updates:

Late January, February, and March have been busy. I traveled to Addis Ababa, Ethiopia and determined that A) everyone in Ethiopia knows of and loves Bob Marley and B) Ethiopian food might be a viable alternative to Tasty Tacos. Never a replacement, mind you, but an alternative.  I didn't have much free time, but I was able to take a day trip south of Addis to see the prehistoric archaeological site at Melka Kunture. This was disappointing in that, according to my guide, this was one of two major excavated prehistoric sites - the other being where the bones of Lucy were discovered - and it was not very well preserved. In fact, there was litter within the excavation shown to the public. There was no security, no protection from the elements, and worst of all, no gift shop.

This site, excavated during the 1960's and 1970's, is thought to be about 800,000 years old.

  

Archaeologists are able to determine the age by looking at surrounding evidence.
The indicated hippo tusk seems to have been eaten during the "Plastics Era."

My next stop on my journey through history was Adadi Mariam,  a rock-hewn church built in the 13th century, slightly more recent than the more famous rock-hewn churches in Lalibela. It is not nearly as elaborate as the churches in Lalibela and is believed to have not been completed before it fell out of use during the 1600's.  Due to warring tribes or Muslim conquest, it was then filled in and forgotten until the late 19th century, when Menelik II excavated and restored the structure.

The cross lights up like something from Vegas, but I don't think it is original to the structure.
The decorative flags are remnants of the previous week's festival celebrating the Ark of the Covenant

One of the four hallways surrounding the central chapel (which I wasn't allowed to see)

One of the most interesting features of the church was not the fact that hand tools were used to excavate this entire structure (while that in itself is amazing). Surrounding the perimeter of the church yard were about 25 or so small shed-type structures of varying quality, constructed of wood, tin, or stone.

No zoning laws here either?

After the proper tithe, we had a nice conversation with the church deacon who informed us that the structures were constructed on the sites of graves. Apparently, families built the structures over the final resting places of their relatives and donated them to the church for use as homeless shelters. This process could be a refutation of the late, great Al Czervik's argument in Caddyshack that "...country clubs and cemeteries are the biggest wastes of prime real estate."

The final site visit (before a delicious Ethiopian lunch in a rural town) was a UNESCO World Heritage site at Tiya, Ethiopia. Here lie about 40 carved rock stelae from a still unknown culture. Archaeologists have been unable to decipher the carvings of swords, plants, and circles, but they are assumed to have some afterlife significance as a number of graves were found both nearby and among the rocks.

As we returned to Addis, I took a few pictures of the amazing landscape. Everything is brown due to the dry season, but during the rainy season, everything is a lush green. I also saw some local livestock including donkeys (Tepper's new favorite animal), cows, and herd of camels being driven to the local slaughterhouse by local tribesmen. Mmmm. Camelburgers...

The cause of a rural traffic jam

Would be happy to hear from our readers if anyone knows the difference between
one-humped camels and two-humped camels.

I returned from Ethiopia just in time for the most hallowed week of the year - Tepper and Stella's birthday week. For those of you who don't know, their birthdays are two days apart. And no, that wasn't planned. But I am looking at doing a joint bat mitzvah in about 12 years.

Their birthday extravaganza was complete with our new backyard playground, face painting, and the ever popular bouncy castle. Tepper had a great time, as you can see from the photos. Stella, on the other hand, slept through almost the entire party. Due to her excitement for the day, she got up way to early that morning and just couldn't stay awake.

Wings courtesy of Funcle and Kelly. Thank you to Grandma Danger and Grampie for the ballerina doll and tutu.
And yes, she thinks she can fly. She called herself a fairy princess.

The most peaceful moment of the week. Toward the end of the week, Laura and I would have said this photo belongs on a Post Office wall next to the FBI's Most Wanted. Wardrobe of new owl and cupcake pajamas brought to you by Trixie.

The cake. You may notice some missing Oreo cookies. It wasn't me.
Blame the vulturous kids who were circling the cake, like sharks at feeding time.

Birthday Tiger!

Tired Tiger

February was finally Laura's turn to travel in Africa, having made a quick business trip to Nairobi, Kenya. She described Nairobi as a "great city," though I'm not so sure about a place where armed gangs are known to rob motorists stuck in traffic jams. At least that kind of thing doesn't happen in Uganda.

Then, a week later, she braved disease, robbery, and roadside vehicle breakdowns to climb Mt. Elgon, Uganda's cheaper, less-crowded version of Mt. Kilimanjaro. An extinct volcano, Mt. Elgon is Africa's 17th highest peak and has possibly the world's largest caldera. On the way up, her traveling companions developed blisters and altitude sickness. Despite the maladies, the group was able to summit.

I heard that Laura's group paid a local tribesman to run up the mountain and bring the sign down a few thousand meters.

On the way down, stopping at Sipi Falls, her group was accosted by a gang of machete-wielding youths demanding money (They got nothing. No one messes with Laura and lives to tell about it). And on the way back to Kampala, one of the two vehicles developed a crack in its coolant box, thus blowing the head gasket and leaving 6 people to cram into one car for the 6 hour ride back to Kampala. Laura had to share a seatbelt. This leads us to another lesson we've learned about Africa: Never buy a Land Rover that's more than 5 years old. You'll end up putting three times the money into it than the purchase price. What's nice about my Isuzu Wizard is that I'll only pay double.

Now that its March, things are going to be a bit more calm. We'll have a lot more time for things like art:

Where Tep-Picasso is supposed to paint: Her easel

Where Tep-Picasso is not supposed to paint or draw: the kitchen wall

relaxing in the pool:

Dora the Explorer Fan Club Pool Party

reading (with friends) on the lanai:

Tepper was actually mad here - she, Bonnie, and Hello Kitty wanted to read Laura's magazine about unicorns.

eating good food:

There's nothing like having a little eggs while still in your PJs.

acting goofy:

Tep-Potatohead

and swinging on the swing set.

Since I'm STILL waiting for my job to start, I plan to play in a few golf events now that the Uganda Golf Union has finally issued me a registered handicap. Much like the USGA system, the UGU used a very complex scientific and mathematical formulaic process. It cost me $15 and required me to play 9 holes with the local club pro. After carding 4 birdies and 2 double bogies, the pro told me, "You hit the ball like a 1 [handicap], have the mind of a 10 or a 12 [handicap], so I'll give you a 6 [handicap]." And so it shall be. Ugandan National championship, here I come.

That's about all for now. Stay tuned for my next rant, I mean insightful post, - mostly likely about a distant cousin of the mosquito - the boda.

Happy N'U-Gan-da Year

So we haven't written for a while and for that I apologize. We've probably been stuck in traffic. I'm being serious. We were warned about it before our arrival, but seeing it up close and personal is something else.  Traffic is absolutely the most difficult thing about living in Uganda. Imagine the worst American beltway without the threat of being pulled over by police, lane dividers, or speed limits. Then add 200% more poorly-maintained vehicles. Blend in a heaping spoonful of unpredictable and dangerous bodas and matatus. Pour in a dash of potholes large enough to swallow an elephant. Finally reduce any sense of moral decency or compassion for your fellow driver, pedestrian, or livestock. That is the recipe for the daily commute to the Embassy, a mere 7 km away. It's not as easy as "Rollin' in my 5.0 with my ragtop down so my hair can blow." (More on Vanilla Ice shortly...)

Uganda, like most of sub-Saharan Africa, has an urban planning problem. Most roads here, and I mean 99% of them, are not designed nor capable of handling the amount of cars, trucks, and boda bodas using them. If you follow any of the news about demographics, the story only gets worse for Africa in the coming years as the population is expected to grow exponentially. Many roads are extremely narrow, barely wide enough for two small cars to pass, and most roads are unpaved. As added threats, there are very few sidewalks, so drivers must be cognizant of the numerous pedestrians. Road-side stands crowd the road in many places, limiting maneuverability. And lastly, 3 ft deep sewage/ drainage trenches line the road. We have been fortunate so far, but have heard many stories of expats' cars falling into the trenches and having to be towed out. 

A brand new, 2ft-high speed bump 10 meters from a T-intersection (immediately behind us) where
no one could possibly have gained any speed going up the hill and after turning. Traffic in the opposite direction is required to stop just prior to the speed bump by one of the 10 traffic lights in the city.

Another victim of the notorious drainage ditches. Most roads, however, don't have
shoulders and the ditches line mark the edge of the road.

Kampala's geographic features also hinder traffic.  The city is known for its "Seven Hills," and the main roads are a series of choke points between each hill.  So while you can move around easily within each hill, once you venture out of that neighborhood, you're just at a stand-still. Additionally, the city's industrial area is positioned right in the middle of the city to promote the heavy industries' access to the railroad (which is grossly underutilized - a story for another time). This location is problematic because the large number of large container and tanker trucks on the narrow roads often have to make sharp turns - often times 20 point turns - to get to their destinations. When this happens, it can block traffic for kilometers. I've seen one stuck truck cause a backup which lasted nearly an hour. And of course, we live on the other side of the industrial area from the Embassy.

Spring Hill Road, a relatively major secondary level road running along the industrial area,
at evening rush hour in the rain. I must point out this is supposed to be a two-way street, but there is no room for traffic traveling in the opposite direction. I'd also like to thank the matatu to the right for reminding us to tithe.

Same road, basically the same location on a sunny Sunday morning.

Many other traffic snarls are caused by the lack of controlled intersections. There are only about 10 traffic lights in the city and sometimes they aren't obeyed, especially by bodas. All of this seems to be made worse by the presence of traffic police, who show up even when the lights are working perfectly, and decide to randomly supersede the lights, stopping for 15-30 minutes to let others go through. Several were recently arrested for taking bribes. Who bribes a traffic cop, you may ask? Well, you try spending 2 hours sitting at an intersection less than 2 km from your home and not think about who you can pay off to get out of the gridlock. And while you're sitting there, you too can listen to Vanilla Ice and/ or Whitney Houston on the only English-speaking radio station you can get on your car's old Japanese radio with frequencies that don't match those of the rest of the world (even Uganda). In fact, one song in particular was played so often a few weeks ago that Tepper turned to me at breakfast the other morning and said, "Ice, Ice, Baby." A chill went down my spine.

As we're only visitors to Uganda, we are lucky that we don't have to put up with this for our whole lives.  The traffic problem in Africa is really tremendous, and has a lasting impact on the African economies and well-being of African people.  WHO data states Africa has more traffic fatalities than anywhere else in the world (24.1 / 100,000, compared with 16.1 / 100,000 in the Americas - here's an interactive map on the issue), and is going to become a bigger killer than malaria, HIV/AIDS, and TB, all of which enjoy plenty of attention from international aid programs. I'm not sure whether anyone has measured the economic impact, but there is no denying the inefficiency of so many city residents sitting around in their cars, trying to travel between home, school, and work.

One thing about transportation in Uganda we are really enjoying is interpreting the messages painted on vehicles and seeing the creative ways folks beautify their vehicles.  The boda drivers tend to be patriotic in how they decorate their motorcycles with red, yellow and black tape (Ugandan flag colors), while the matatu drivers like supporting their favorite sports team.  Commercial drivers of all types also praise their various creators - here are two that we managed to catch on our phones, but this is only a small tip of the iceberg in terms of the many ways drivers want to give thanks to the Almighty:

Would love to hear from one of our readers if they can define Christed Bloodz.

This must be the shuttle to the synagogue. Except there is no synagogue in Kampala. Hmmm...

Is this driver directing everyone to apprehend something or is his name Captain Ure? You be the judge

Enough ranting about traffic for now, but I can assure you, it will likely happen again. 

Another holiday season has passed us by (probably while we were sitting in traffic), but we couldn't tell because there are no seasons. If it weren't for our calendars, this experience could be something akin to Groundhog Day, but with better weather. No snow for us here. In fact, I think I saw Puxsatawny Phil drinking a Nile Special beer down by Lake Victoria the other day, resting for his return to frigidly cold Pennsylvania next month.

So here's a brief recap of the last couple of months:

November:

I took a much-needed (imagine the sound of Laura choking right now) vacation to play golf in Durban, South Africa. I never thought I'd ever be playing golf alongside the Indian Ocean and yes, I left a few balls in the Indian Ocean. I then attended an off-road driving school in Kampala - necessary because most driving around here is off-road.

With this Hooters being located in one of the more upscale areas in Durban, who knew that it had such an international following? Yes, the buffalo wings are just as delicious on this side of the Equator.

 #5, Zimbali Golf Course, about 30km north of Durban. 240 yards downhill into a 40mph wind. I was happy to make bogey. That's the Indian Ocean in the background, the new home for a couple of my Titleists.

Since this is about as close as I'll ever get to Antarctica, I decided to attend the the penguin show at the
Southern Hemisphere's largest aquarium and marine park - uShaka Marine World. 

Laura was very busy at work as well as on the home front, decorating our house and painting rooms now that all of our belongings arrived - a full 3 months and one week after we got here. Fortunately, nothing was broken, though we had a few odds and ends missing. And when I say odd, I mean that the bags of snap pea crisps, a big jar of risotto, and a few other non-essential items didn't make it to Uganda. Whether they were pilfered, lost, or jumped ship in Hong Kong, we will never know.

In mid-November, we attended the Marine Corps Ball - the embassy's social event of the year. Held at a resort south of Kampala, it was the first night that Laura and I together had spent away from the girls - ever. Thank you to Nanny Hellen for allowing us (meaning Laura, because I never wake up for the crying baby) to get a good night's sleep.

This beautiful lady was nice enough to escort the lost penguin to the dance.

Tepper got her first real haircut prior to Laura getting her hair done for the Marine Ball:

After

Before

I know many liked her hair long, but it got to be problematic: washing it, trying to put it into "ponies," and Stella developed an affinity for pulling on it.
 
Thanksgiving was spent poolside at a friend's house, eating turkey and stuffing, drinking Moscow Mules and playing cornhole (a popular beanbag tossing game for those not in the know). I can't forget the delicious pumpkin cheesecake either. Again, I say that we are living a rough life. But it did take about 30 minutes to get to and from our friend's house 4 km away because of traffic, as it was a regular work day in Uganda. 
 
December: 

Tepper's second theatrical foray was the dramatic role as one of a cadre of glitzy foreigners attempting to woo a Ugandan woman in Kissyfur's reproduction of "Njabala," a Ugandan fable about a lazy woman trying to find a husband. No one has ever played part of a glitzy foreigner as well as this:

Glitzy tunic, glitzier pants, and the glitziest shoes (they light up when she walks)

Laura and Stella enjoying the show

Christmas was obviously not white and was spent at a friend's house, where Tepper littered the floor with cupcake crumbs and tried to make off with the new gifts of our hosts' children.

January:

New Years was our first true vacation here in Uganda and was spent on an island in Lake Victoria, Pineapple Bay. The trip began with a 50 minute boat ride across the lake - first boat ride for both kids, and if it were up to them, the last. Upon arrival to this tropical paradise, I was expecting this welcome committee:

De Boat! De Boat!

Alas, Mr. Roarke and Tattoo did not greet us with a drink. This was our welcome committee as we pulled up to the island's dock:

And at 9ft long, this was the smaller of the two in the bay.

A couple weeks before our visit, this croc's 13ft-long friend dragged a local sheep into the middle of the bay. The manager of the resort told us that one of the guests got a cell phone video of it. This one spent New Years' Eve swimming beneath the dock, which was barely a foot above the water. Needless to say, we did not go near the water for the 3 days we were there. This was fine as the pool was a perfect spot to relax and snack:

A time of peace for pieces of cheesy puffies. And yes, they were sharing.

Despite the water hazards, we give this place a 5 star approval, and not just because we were able to become friendly with the owners while spending New Years' Eve with them.  The island was beautiful, peaceful and served the best food we'd had in months - stateside or in Uganda.  There are over 400 species of birds on the island and we went on a hike to see how many we could identify. Naturally, we saw a lot of different birds, and couldn't identify any of them, but did see some nice views of the surrounding waters. Unfortunately, I couldn't get the video to load, so here is a panoramic photo:

The Girls:

The girls are busy growing too fast to keep up. Tepper is enjoying school and working on potty-training. Courtesy of Nanny Hellen, Stella is also working on potty-training and lately seems to have had more luck at it than Tepper. Her success will probably make Tepper jealous and cause some deep-seeded rift between the two, but as long as we can stop buying cases of diapers, I'll be happy. 

Stella is crawling well, is very talkative, and lights up whenever she sees Tepper. Tepper is developing into a pretty good big sister, sharing some of her toys with Stella and always asking where her sister is. She has memorized the movie Frozen and Stella sits and listens to Tepper sing all of the songs, like a love-struck teenager watching Justin Bieber. Stella, as any good younger sibling does, terrorizes Tepper by threatening to steal her toys or otherwise generally invade Tepper's space. Despite that, they love spending time together, no matter the locale:

Trapped like rats in a cage and they don't care a bit.

Lounging in the new pool

Tepper is also really enjoying her Playmobil sets she received for Hanukkah (I think it's called Han-U-Gan-da-Kah here). She has developed a knack for dioramas:

An aerial view of Tepper's re-creation of the farm at Jonestown

Her reenactment of the mob arresting Marie Antoinette during the French Revolution

Other than that, the geckos (too many to name) continue to work overtime to eradicate the growing number of mosquitoes and the palm fronds still fall (the last one almost hit me and Tepper). Thanks to Abdul the Gardener, our garden is growing at a rapid rate, with corn, basil, tomatoes, okra, carrots, mint, pineapple, strawberries, and tobacco nearly ready to be consumed. Ok, not the tobacco. That will be used to keep away the snakes.

Furaha ya Mwaka Mpya, or "Happy New Year" in Swahili, and I promise to write more often. That is, unless I get stuck in traffic again with the theme music to "The Bodyguard" my only company.

Ugand-o-ween

It's Halloween time, but you wouldn't know it here in Uganda.  The leaves haven't turned, the weather is still a balmy 80 degrees, and retail establishments aren't littered with paper skeletons, plastic pumpkins, and strung-out cotton resembling spider webs.  And the worst part?  Candy is not on prominent display in the grocery stores, because candy is relatively hard to come by.  If any of our good readers would like to send a care package next year, a 55-gallon drum of candy corn and assorted chocolate bars would be greatly appreciated by the American expat community.

No sign of Halloween, but Christmas has arrived in Uganda - photo taken October 13th. 

I don't think that words can explain exactly how foreign the concept of Halloween is to most Ugandans.  In a country where Archbishops find it necessary to warn against the use of witchcraft to pass exams, I think Ugandans believe we Americans are the odd ones who don costumes and attend parties dressed as ghosts, goblins, monsters, super heroes, pop culture icons, and childrens' toys (our costume - will discuss shortly).  We dress up our children and then follow them around so they can "beg" for candy.  All strange and mildly insulting concepts in the developing world.

Most of our belongings still haven't arrived from the U.S., so we had limited resources in developing our costumes.  So the brain trust of Laura and Tepper sat down and searched the Internet for costumes using the one resource we aren't lacking - empty diaper boxes.  After much searching - and I will say that year will be the only year where Tepper gets to choose the family costumes - here is the result:

The Lego family that "sticks" together - mostly because the paint was still slightly wet

Yes, the powers that be decided that we were Legos. It was by far the most unique costume at the Embassy party, albeit impractical.  Not only did Laura and I have a hard time corralling the kids with limited arm movement, Tepper had to ask for help putting the candy into her pumpkin, because she couldn't bring her hands together.  "Mommy, can you put the pumpkin in my other hand?"  "Mommy, can you put my candy in the pumpkin?"  Then there was the Loony Toons-esque moment when she fell down, suspended in the air by the cups, all limbs off the ground. Fortunately for her, our parental instincts kicked in and we helped her up instead of reaching for our cameras. 

Ugan-dependence Day

On October 9, 1962, the Ugandan people threw off the yokes of tyranny and declared their independence from their British overlords.  This was probably due to the fact that, though they'd come to terms with it, the Ugandans were very angry with the British for teaching them how to drive on the wrong side of the road.

Fifty-two years later and I think still upset that they have to shift with their left hands and make right-hand turns across traffic, Ugandans perform their independence rituals of dancing, parades, and of course, elaborate programs at all of the local preschools. Some of you may remember my lovely wife's off-off-off-off- Broadway debut a few years ago. Now our eldest daughter recently took to the stage in Kissyfur's latest production celebrating Ugandan independence and the United Nations.

The program began with the children filing into the performance area grouped by country, not unlike the grand opening of the Olympic Games. Due to the mass of parents and children, it actually took some time for me to recognize what was going on and that, unfortunately,  I arrived after Tepper and her two fellow Americans 'paraded' into the coliseum.  Rest assured, I'm certain she did a great job and didn't trip.   By the time I did locate her, I had to contend with other parents to get a good camera angle, and it was not too different from this.

Despite the mania, I was able to get a few shots of Tepper's performance for her grandparents and the rest of her fan club. However, before I get to her videos and photos, I would like to apologize for the poor video quality.  I had only a semi-operating iPhone camera to work with. Furthermore, the program was cut short by a torrential downpour (we are in the rainy season for another 2 months or so), so I didn't have a lot of material to work with. To my chagrin, Laura informed me that when she dropped off Tepper at school this morning,  that there was an enterprising parent selling videos of the performance. But I'll wait until I can buy the pirated version at the local video store.

Opening Ceremonies

Proudly waving the American colors and obviously not trying to focus on the kid with the 'binky'

 

Tepper finally sees me in the crowd, twenty minutes after the start of the program

Unfortunately, shortly after this last video, the sky opened up with one of the heaviest rain storms I've seen since we've been here. The program was cut short, the kids were ushered inside, and the parents were left to soak, unless they wanted to stay and eat some wet cake. Of course, despite already being soaked, I passed. The cake wasn't chocolate and I needed to go backstage to congratulate the star of the show.

In another highlight from Ugandan National Day, during his annual address to the nation, President Yoweri Museveni asked Ugandans to cease shaking hands due to Ebola and now Marburg.  It's a good thing we taught Tepper to fist bump from an early age.  We're actually heartened that we're living in Uganda during this outbreak, because Uganda has been successful dealing with past Ebola and Marburg events.  Most Ugandans also seem to have a better sense of geography than most Americans, and realize that the distance between West Africa to East Africa is greater than the distance between the West and East Coasts of the United States.  We hear that folks in Maine are asking people who've ever been to Dallas, ever in their lives, to self-quarantine.  Common sense prevails, here, fortunately - at least in this instance.

Zoo - Ganda

For my birthday this year (Yes, I turned the big 4-0 and yes, thank you, I’m sure my parents feel very old), our plan was to visit one of the more popular, i.e. touristy, spots in Uganda, the “source” of the Nile River near Jinja – about 90km to the east.  I use quotes around the word source since the point of the actual source is somewhat disputed.  While many generally accept Lake Victoria as the source, rivers from Rwanda and Burundi do feed Lake Victoria from the south. Explorations for the true source continue. It’s a big international pride argument over here, of which I want no part, at least as of yet. But I digress…

Of course, the best-laid plans oft go astray, especially when children named Stella and Tepper are involved. Due to Stella getting a fever and Tepper developing a cold (that she so graciously passed to me), the trip was postponed and I’ll write about it when we do end up going there.

Instead, we took a day trip to the Uganda Wildlife Education Centre –  the local zoo. Yes, you read that correctly. Uganda has a zoo. I'm sure you agree this seems counter-intuitive and as one friend said, “I just assumed [a zoo in this country] would be as simple as walking outside.” The idea of zoos, to me at least, should be for the viewing of animals not found in your own country. So I might have expected to see native North American animals – squirrels, moose, bears, manatees, woodchucks, etc. – but no, everything I will likely see on safari later in our journey was penned up for our viewing pleasure a mere 30km from our house. To be fair, the UWEC is more of a preserve and many of the animals were rescued from less than ideal situations – confiscated from illegal export, injured by poachers, or relocated after loss of habitat. But I maintain it is odd to me seeing the animals this way.

To get to the zoo might have been our adventure in and of itself: As I said, it is about 30km away, so that required us to drive, braving traffic on Entebbe Road, one of the busiest roads in the nation since it leads to the airport. But being Sunday morning, it was too bad.  Traffic being light, it allowed us (well, allowed me since Laura was driving) to focus less on the road and more on the local people, commerce, and of course livestock, on the side of the road:

Alas it was Sunday, so we saw no pecking

Why did the cow cross the road? To get to the the pork joint on the other side. According to the International Livestock Research Institute, Uganda is the largest consumer of pork in sub-Saharan Africa. Sweet.

We were able to get a better idea of the country’s topography and give us our first views of Lake Victoria. However, instead of enjoying the lake vistas, my eyes were drawn to these 30 guys mowing a huge plot of land along the lake using only gas-powered weed-whackers. Labor in Uganda is cheap, while equipment is expensive.

At least their workplace had a nice vista

Arriving at UWEC, we saw the only giraffes we would see during the day, but that could not contain Laura and Tepper's excitement:

UWEC's information center was a bit of a morbid start to the visit. The name was a bit misleading as there was no information but lots and lots of skulls, full skeletons, and partially stuffed animals piled into a small room.

Then it was on to the zebras and ostrich, who refused to pose for my pictures:

These 10 yards are about as close as I ever want to get to the Nile Crocodile. The pictures don’t do their size justice. By the way, the name is misleading because they aren't just found in the Nile. Their habitat includes Lake Victoria - one more reason why swimming there isn’t very popular (aside from bacterial concerns, pollution, etc.)

Laura's future purse and my future boots

T taking in the tortoises

Next came the chimpanzees. The mother seemed to be watching her kids have fun. Tepper was waving hello when the one with the plastic bottle ran away. I hope she has that effect on most boys.

One hiding in the bushes and the other enjoying a plastic bottle - Our kids aren’t too different.

 After seeing some baboons, water buffalo, and some birds (of which I didn't get any great pictures), we came upon the majestic lions - an 18 year old male who was on the verge of death and two females, who slept on the opposite side of the enclosure, eyeing Tepper like she was some sort of appetizer. Little did they know that she comes with her own warning:

The most fierce animal in the jungle, especially when she's hungry or tired

Prior to departing back to Kampala, Tepper made one last attempt to talk/ chase an animal - a large marabou stork. It reacted the same way as the young chimpanzee -- it turned tail and ran.

These things are huge and extremely tame.

Though the adventure at the zoo was complete, we were not done seeing wildlife on our ride home -- monkeys in the parking lot, roadside goats, and more cows contemplating crossing lanes of traffic:

I'm glad they were behind bars - they had their eyes on our snacks

This 'kid' is anxious for school to start

Hey, where's the pork?!

My birthday ended with a very nice dinner with my girls at a restaurant back in Kampala.  I can't wait for my next birthday adventure with this crew (though I don't think my parents want to feel any older, thinking about their son turning 41).

 Again, looking forward to your comments and questions. I'll eventually respond to the rest of them from the first post. Remember, everything is mpola (slow).